Recipe #87 - Breton Biscuits - The Verdict!

Recipe # 2 is done! It's in the bank. In the bag. In my belly.
I forget how that saying is supposed to go anyway.

I can say with confidence that this recipe was a great success. And not just because anything would be a great success over the debacle that was recipe #1. These cookies were genuinely freaking tasty! I will start at the beginning, because that is where things should start.

Here is what Martha said the cookies should look like. I'll be honest, I wasn't too intimidated. Yes, there is "lattice work" but c'mon, I'm not an idiot, I can make this work.

Do you like my makeshift cookbook stand? I'm classy.

The cast of characters. The recipe called for room temperature butter. Can I tell you a secret? When this picture was taken the butter was not room temperature! I know. Insanity. You wouldn't have even known if I didn't tell you, so just chalk it up to my unwavering honesty.

Martha is a big fan of sifting. Me? Not so much. But I did it, because she asked me to.

I won't bore you with all the steps. You're just here for my witty commentary and wonderful iphone photography, let's be honest =D

I love creaming. Butter + Sugar = Love.

Yeah, that's Dashboard Confessional in the background. Haven't I given you enough ammo to judge me? Why do I do this?

Once all the wet ingredients were combined, I added the flour and had to roll it out on a "lightly floured surface." I took this to mean I should put at least enough flour on the surface to draw pictures in it.

Don't worry, for my next recipe I will use a real camera.

You separate the dough into two batches and make them into discs. Then you make hand prints in them. Ok, that wasn't in the cookbook, I took that one upon myself.


You have to let your dough discs chill up for a while first, so I did just that.

Also pictured - Worlds largest jar of mayonnaise, the remainder of the god awful olives from recipe #1, lots of yogurt in flavors like boston cream pie, I can't believe it's not butter! (It's NOT butter btw), more eggs than anyone could ever possibly need (except me, I needed them it turns out), Pepperoni (which I ate by itself later in the evening), and CARROTS. You know, for healthful reasons.

Once the dough is chilled, you roll it out into sheets and then you put it in the freezer. Apparently the dough needs to be freezing it's ass off before you can cut it.

Mmm.....dough.

Here are the cookies with the egg wash on them. Mmmmm. Egg bath.

Using a cookie cutter is fun. Also, I have an odd idea of what "fun" is.

They were big cookies!

Except, of course, that I have freakishly small hands. Don't make fun of me :(

Martha, I think you should put a disclaimer. The picture in the book is not to size.

What do you mean there is a bite taken out of that cookie? I certainly wouldn't take a bite out of a raw cookie. No sir. Not I.

Look Martha, I'm rotating the cookie sheets, just like you said. I don't think it made a difference though.


After 15ish minutes, the cookies were done!

Look at this sexy bitch.

I decided I even needed to take a glamour shot of the cookie on a plate. On the cooling rack didn't do it justice.

Ooooohhh yeah.

Go ahead, just say it. "I want to put that cookie in my mouth."

Extreme closeup. Cookie porn.

I'm sorry I didn't have any fun pictures from my shopping trip, but the only thing I didn't have was the cake flour and that was not an exciting grocery trip. I promise in the future I will document the grocery trip if it is entertaining. If I forget maybe I will draw it out for you. That will be particularly hilarious since I can't draw for shit.

I guess it's time for the final verdict! As I'm sure you can deduce from the tone of the post (in comparison to the last post) this was a pretty damn successful recipe! Martha said that these are very similar to shortbread and I would have to agree. I do think I could have made the cookies a little bit thicker, but overall I was quite pleased.

Level of Difficulty - 1/2 out of 5 Sticks of Butter


Appearance - 4 out of 5 sticks of Butter


Taste - 4 out of 5 sticks of Butter

(I'm sorry but I couldn't be arsed to find a cute butter graphic and alter it for rating purposes. So sue me. On second thought, don't sue me. That would be overkill)

It's back to you now, ladies and gentlemen. I need more numbers so I can pick the next recipe! In the interim I will have another post for you because I baked something else for Easter yesterday.

So, what recipe will I make next? You can comment a number between 1-400 (not 333 or 87) and I will randomly select one of them within the next few days! Come on and participate, you know you want to.